Hello.

Today was... a mixed day.

I got up, got dressed, and realized my pants weren't going to fit. That kind of threw me over the edge (because the previous day as you can see below, I was quite sad already). I am just going to blame it on the fact that my garments were causing friction with my skinny jeans that had just been washed, and therefore it was a combination of factors of why it didn't fit, not because I was fat. At the time though, it was depressing. Carson and I then went to biolife to donate, and my heart rate was too high so I wasn't allowed to donate. This is frustrating for a couple reasons. 1. The second time you donate in a week, they give you 15 dollars extra. If you only go once a week though, it's always the same amount. It's just an incentive to go twice, because the second time, you get extra money. 2. If I didn't donate, that's $35 dollars we lost today and that's a lot of money these days. That's like.. 5 hours of work at my regular job.

So I walked out and waited on a rock outside the building for Carson to get done with his session.

And I cried. I cried it all out.

People probably thought I was mental crying on a rock outside biolife, but I didn't care. I wasn't just crying over not being able to donate, it wasn't really that big of a deal. It was a build of things and part of my lens being broken.

I called my mom, balling, and she talked me through it and I was ok.

When Carson was done, we got in the car and drove to Camera Country. He went in to Radioshack next door, and I went in to show the man my lens. He agreed that it wasn't working right and we decided it was worth it for me to send it in to Canon, which he would do for me. I looked around the store (I had never been in) and saw that he had a million vintage cameras. I was in heaven. They were gorgeous. Of course there were all kind of pricy except for a couple that ranged $40-$100 (The ones over $100 were so tempting.. but I couldn't even look at them or I'd really consider buying). I noticed that there was one single one for $25 and I felt so giddy inside (that's the usual price I pay, $25 and under). I grabbed Carson at Radioshack and took him back and we decided to get it and send in my lens. That was a huge pick-me-up.

Then we went to the Boulevard because we had $50 dollars there and free lunch. We ate at the diner inside and looked around for things we could buy without having to spend our own money. I ended up finding some antique books and an awesome key holder for the living room. We ended up spending a total of $5 of our own money, which wasn't bad. I love being with Carson. Walking around holding hands and looking at things was fun. He really knows how to get me out of my moods and I appreciate that about him. I couldn't even remember 2 hours previous of my awful morning.

Then we went home, I got ready for a shoot. I also got to babysit my siblings tonight while my parents went on a date. It was a lot of fun. Usually babysitting isn't, but with my siblings it is. Especially because I don't get to see them super often and they've been sick the past week so I haven't even been 10 feet of that house for a while (couldn't afford to get sick). Carson upgraded my mac with 8 gb of ram, and Kent and I watched some Harry Potter. I love that he's so into Harry Potter now. It makes me proud.

So, all in all, it was a good day. I think just having a good cry helps a ton. It helps me realize I have feelings and it's ok to break down every once and a while. It is. As long as I get right back up and keep going.

Here's my pic of the day, it's a lot happier than yesterdays -->

Who did I see today? - Carson, Biolife workers, camera guy, Kelli Casey, her husband, and their cute little boy, my parents, my siblings.

What am I grateful for today?-A free Saturday

What am I glad I did today?- Cry

What do I wish I had done today? -Drank more water, the dishes