Patience.

There's been a lot on my mind as of late. Sometimes my mind will get racing at night and I can't fall asleep because of it. There's so many things I want to do and so many things I want to be. I am the type of person who wants things...quickly. I want to see results. Sometimes I wish I had a fast forward button... skip all these tedious steps and get to where I want to be already! (And here I am waiting for a missionary... such a tedious task in itself). 

Here are the things I want to accomplish. The person I want to be. The goals, the dreams, the expectations:

1. I want to be a great photographer. I am guilty of looking at other photographer's work and comparing myself to them. Carson always gets mad at me when I do this. He says I will get there in time and that I've already improved so much since he's been gone. But that's been six months! Remember when I said I like quick results? Here are the next purchases on my list. Grumble... Patience.
               a. mini and flex pocketwizards (for my flash)
               b. softbox(es)
               c. 17-40 mm L lens

2. I want to do well in school. I want to be the smartest in the class. I once was this. In highschool and down, I was always top of my class, always studying, always attaining a 4.0. (I graduated with a 3.94... thanks to A.P Statistics). Since I've been in college, I've sought the social scene and focused on things that made me happy...like starting my photography business... because quite frankly, last year was a downer. Goodbye 2009 and 2010. I am not who I was. I am strong. I am smart. I will not be lazy. I will do well this semester. TAKE THAT BUSINESS STATISTICS! Getting my gpa up again will require...patience.

3. I want to enjoy my business classes. I have been so pessimistic about them. It hasn't been interesting to me at all. I have been ruled by my right brain for a while (which there is nothing wrong with that.. I love being creative and love the arts with all my heart, but I also think there should be moderation in all things haha). I can be very left brained as well. I love math and love logic and thinking. I feel that the business classes are very left brain oriented and I think I need to embrace that side of me again. Don't worry.. I'll still be my creative self! I'm not letting that go, just gaining back a part of me. Learning to love my business classes will definitely test my patience.

4. I want to be. What's the best word to use... um. I want to be known. Known for good things is preferred of course ;) I wouldn't mind being a major writer where hundreds, if not thousands follow one of my blogs. I wouldn't mind being a major photographer where I could be featured in magazines. But I am so far from this point, and I might never attain it. But I can try right? Which... this will also be in a need of my patience.

5. I want to be healthy. I want to workout and be toned and strong. I joined the fitness center class at my college? There's a start? Ooo and I'd love to take yoga. I think I need some endorphins in my life. I would probably have less stress and less migraines. I'll let ya know how that goes. Getting muscles and fit will.. yes you guessed it... require my patience.

pa·tience

/ˈpeɪʃəns/ Show Spell[pey-shuhns] 

–noun

1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience. 

 

Patience for my missionary to come home. Patience for my photography skills, my education, my health, my quest to be famous. ;) 

Here's to 2011!